No one warned me about the baby blues. If I was warned, I guess I didn't pay that much attention. As you can tell, from my previous posts, Mike going back to work caused me a lot of anxiety. I made it through the his first shift back and he's home now, sleeping.
Today is the reason for this post. I got up around 8 AM, after going to bed around midnight and then getting up at 2:45 AM and 6:00 AM. I took care of the few things that I needed to do and then went to my endocrinologist's office. I had a 10:00 AM appointment and arrived at 9:40 AM. At around 10:45, I looked around the waiting room and it was almost empty. I had also read 150 pages of my Jenny McCarthy Baby Laughs book so I was wondering what was going on. I asked the check in person if I had been missed (which I usually don't do because I'm used to waiting at least 30 minutes at this office - he takes his time with the patients). The girl gave me a funny look and said hold on. It turns out that when I checked in, they didn't click something on the computer so it looked like I was a no show! A few minutes later, another person told me that they would take me back in a few minutes. Almost 20 minutes later, I was still sitting so I asked if I could have another appointment and that's when I lost it. I broke down crying because it had been almost 4 hours since I last pumped and Mike got no sleep at work last night. I knew Mike would be suffering. I was right about the suffering part when I got home around 12:40 PM and saw a very tired Mike and Evan.
I was embarrassed but the tears would not stop. At this point, the whole office knew I had a 3 week old and they took me back to see another doctor. I cry at the drop of a hat lately. It's just a mild case of the baby blues but none-the-less I've got it. I'm still stressed about the no sleep thing and the breastfeeding issues but I know that in time it will all get better. Nothing about Evan makes me cry, except when I look at him sleeping and think he's so sweet and beautiful. It's everything else around us that stresses me to tears.
I was embarrassed but the tears would not stop. At this point, the whole office knew I had a 3 week old and they took me back to see another doctor. I cry at the drop of a hat lately. It's just a mild case of the baby blues but none-the-less I've got it. I'm still stressed about the no sleep thing and the breastfeeding issues but I know that in time it will all get better. Nothing about Evan makes me cry, except when I look at him sleeping and think he's so sweet and beautiful. It's everything else around us that stresses me to tears.
4 comments:
Its the hormones girl! I too did a lot of crying those first few weeks for seemingly no one good reason. This too shall pass, but still know that I am here for you if you need to talk.
girl, i STILL cry about it all! haha!!
seriously, i had severe post partum depression so i know all about feeling lousy after giving birth.
the tears will come-just let them flow.
time fades away all the crap and what you are left with is the pure joy and laughter you get from your kid.
take care of yourself as best you can...take a bath,light some candles, drink a bottle of wine-kidding-but try and do something little for yourself!
you're doing great, girl!!
God bless you! I had it too girl! It was so crazy - I had no control over my emotions - nor did I even understand them at all. I couldn't even explain myself to Tim or anyone - I was like I am ok - just leave me along and DON"T ask me about it!!! Roarrrr!!!
Mike just looks at me puzzled when I break into the tears and can't talk. I'm just glad that I'm not the only one that has ever experienced this. Thank God for all of you and your motherly wisdom!
Post a Comment